FOMO, photos and followers: how to use social media without harming your mental health
During the pandemic, we turned to technology to help us maintain our connections with the outside world. From Zoom meetings to Houseparty quizzes, we became used to seeing colleagues, friends and family pop up in little boxes on our screens. A large part of this connectivity was through social media. Already a huge part of many people’s lives, it became an essential way of staying in touch and sharing experiences, both good and bad.
That’s the thing about social media. It can be good and bad too. As a tool used in a productive, healthy way, it brings enormous benefits to many aspects of life. Social media can keep friends and family in touch all around the world, help us explore hobbies and interests with like-minded people, promote good causes, facilitate discussions and offer an outlet for creativity and self-expression. However, if it is used to spread harmful messages, or is allowed to take over our thoughts and feelings of self-worth, social media can become a much darker place to be.
Dopamine rush
Social media has become ubiquitous. It’s thought that there are currently around three billion active monthly users, regularly connecting to various online platforms.[1] For some, their usage is becoming more and more addictive. Checking social media to see whether anyone has been in touch or ‘liked and shared’ a message can set off a chain reaction in the brain. If someone has interacted with us on social media, it can trigger the brain to release dopamine – the same ‘feel-good; chemical that is released when we eat, gamble or have sex[2]. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that connects neurons to physiological functions, thus creating a satisfying physical reaction to a pleasing mental stimulation.
Checking in on social media platforms like this, however, also comes with the flip-side risk of discovering that no-one (or fewer people than expected) has actually clicked on our photo or commented on our post. A seeming lack of response can make us feel rejected, unpopular and like our friends don’t care about us. Despite common sense suggesting that people may simply not have seen the post, not had time to log onto social media yet that day or are struggling with their own issues too much to respond.
The rush that we feel when someone interacts positively with us on social media or ‘follows’ us online creates what is known in some circles as a dopamine loop, or a cycle of motivation, reward and reinforcement. It is easy to see how we can become addicted to feeling that rush of dopamine-induced excitement that comes from clicking on ‘refresh’ and seeing a raft of new messages and interactions pop up. We feel part of the gang and listened to.
The only question is, how long will these feelings last before we are searching for our next rush and waiting for the dopamine loop to start up again? Searching out real-life ways to experience pleasure and acceptance seems like a far healthier way to boost our mental health, rather than relying on the transient nature of social media ‘likes’ and tracking how many followers we have online.
Fear Of Missing Out
Commonly known by its acronym, fear of missing out – or FOMO – is another threat to our mental health when it comes to social media. As well as subconsciously searching for an exciting dopamine hit, we often scour social media platforms for updates and messages in order to keep up with what’s happening and feel part of the gang.
The instant nature of social media means that we don’t have to wait very long to find out about different things that are happening and that people are doing. News feeds and status updates refresh constantly with new content. So, we feel obliged to follow people and keep checking their accounts for updates, over and over again.
FOMO manifests itself in that nagging feeling we get that everyone else around us is experiencing something fun and exciting that we are missing out on. In turn, this can lead to lower satisfaction levels with our own life and its activities, events and achievements.
Becoming obsessed with not missing out on social media can feed our feelings of FOMO. A study published last year in scientific journal, Computers in Human Behavior, showed that people with higher feelings of FOMO also displayed more problematic and prolific social media usage[3]. For example, obsessively checking for updates, relying on ‘likes’ to bolster their self-esteem and comparing their lives unfavourably with what they are seeing on screen.
Picture perfect life?
This last point about comparing ourselves to others is especially important. We are all guilty, to one extent or another, of presenting the best version of ourselves to the outside world. Its why the cosmetics and fashion industries are doing so well. Much of social media revolves around trying to present ourselves as leading perfect lives with no problems or hiccups along the way. This is linked strongly to our desires to gain ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ to feel popular, accepted and admired.
So, we only post photos where we look happy and slim, surrounded by smiling friends in a gorgeous location. We use photo manipulation software to remove blemishes in pictures, or to make our naturally imperfect bodies look better (sometimes with unintentionally hilarious results). We shout about our own, or our children’s academic or extra-curricular achievements without documenting the struggles or disappointments inevitably felt along the way. We tidy up the house and put out vases of fresh flowers before posting pictures of where we live.
Our loyal followers buy into this too. They post comments such as “OMG, you look amazing!” or “I love how you have designed your new home”. These are usually made with the very best of intentions, but they encourage us to only upload edited content like this, as opposed to a more genuine representation of our lives, in order to get more and more likes.
Inevitably, we cannot keep up with such pretences all of the time and the effort in trying to so do can seriously affect our mental health. Especially if our followers are posting similarly aspirational content that makes us feel inadequate in turn. We all tend to forget that in reality, no-one can match up to such carefully curated, seemingly perfect snapshots and trying to compete with apparent perfection will never work out well. Life has an annoying habit of getting in the way.
How to use social media healthily
The good news is that there are, as already mentioned, lots of good reasons why social media can benefit us in our daily lives. The trick is to take a healthy view of it, use it in a positive way and when you start to feel adversely affected by it, stop. Or at least cut down your usage. Signs that you are starting to use social media in an unhealthy way include spending more time online than with friends in real life; comparing yourself unfavourably with what you are viewing online; becoming distracted by your phone or smart device at work or in social settings; experiencing or taking part in cyber bullying and engaging in risky or controversial behaviours to attract more attention[4].
All of this doesn’t mean that you need to go ‘cold turkey’ and cut out social media altogether. Work out set times when you are going to log onto it and stick to them – use an app if necessary to track your time online. Turn your phone off when you are at work or out with friends so that you are not distracted by notifications pinging into your phone. Never take your phone to bed and look for offline ways to spend your downtime, such as hobbies, going for walks or reading a book or magazine.
When you are using social media, always think before you write anything, post photos or share links. Consider why you are posting and whether your motivation is healthy. Are you genuinely excited about something that has happened to you and want to share the news with friends whom you know will be happy for you, or are you trying to make others feel inferior? How will the sarcastic comment you are about to write under someone’s post make them (and you) feel in the long-term? If you are posting photos of your children, are they the type of images that they would be happy seeing on the internet when they are older? What about the way you write about them? Is it uplifting and affirming, or sarcastic and cross?
Finally, are you sharing too much about your personal life and is this affecting your mental health? Do your followers really want to know which brand of porridge oats you had for breakfast this morning? There could be a reason why you are not getting much response, or the response you were hoping for. If in any doubt, write out your post or select your photo and then wait half a day or even a whole day before pressing ‘upload’. Just to make sure that you really do want to share it with the world.
In this day and age, social media content tends to stick around for ages. Even if you think you have deleted it, other people can take screen shots or share posts to other people in their network. A good rule of thumb is to never post anything you wouldn’t want appearing on the front page of the national newspapers the following day.
Where to seek help
If you are concerned about your own social media usage, or that of someone you love, please check out these helpful links.
[1] [1] Source: https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/blogs/anxiety-loneliness-and-fear-missing-out-impact-social-media-young-peoples-mental-health. Accessed 27 August 2022.
[2] Source: https://www.leehealth.org/health-and-wellness/healthy-news-blog/mental-health/are-you-addicted-to-social-media. Accessed 27 August 2022.
[3] Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202106/fomo-and-social-media. Accessed 27 August 2022.
[4] Source: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm. Accessed 27 August 2022
