Discover how loving curiosity, gratitude, and mindful practices can help you navigate holiday stress and embrace joy this season.
The first snowflakes drift past your window, and the world outside feels hushed—like a blank page waiting for your story. Inside, the scent of cinnamon and pine wraps around you, yet beneath the sparkle of fairy lights, life can feel heavy: expectations, family dynamics, and the quiet whisper of negative thoughts. I’ve felt that weight too. There were years when the holidays felt more like a performance than a celebration—when I measured joy by how perfectly everything looked. Over time, I’ve learned that peace isn’t found in perfection; it’s found in presence.
This season, I like to imagine my life as a Christmas tree—each ornament a choice, a moment, a feeling. I get to decide what shines. When stress knocks like an unexpected caroler, I try to pause and open the door with wonder instead of judgment: Why am I feeling this way? What do I need right now? That simple curiosity softens the edges of anxiety, like snow melting under winter sun. Grant Soosalu, in Loving Your Life, calls this “loving curiosity”—a way to engage with your thoughts and emotions without judgment, opening space for self-compassion and clarity (Soosalu, 2015). It reminds me of the scripture that “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Curiosity is a spiritual posture too—listening inwardly before reacting outwardly.
And if you’ve ever felt stressed during the holidays, you’re not alone. In the UK, 38–65% of people report feeling more stressed during the festive season, often because of financial strain and family expectations (Mind Body Clinic, 2023). Knowing this helps me remember that the pressure isn’t personal—it’s cultural. So instead of chasing perfection, I focus on nurturing what matters most. Outside, the garden sleeps under frost, but beneath the soil, bulbs prepare to bloom. My self-belief works the same way—it needs quiet care. Sometimes I whisper affirmations like carols to my soul: I am enough. I am worthy. One year, I wrote those words on sticky notes and tucked them into my planner. It felt small, but it changed the way I showed up for myself. I’ve even invited my family to name one thing they love about themselves. It’s like hanging ornaments that reflect each person’s unique sparkle.
The holidays often feel like a stage where everyone expects a flawless performance. But I’ve learned I don’t need to juggle ornaments to prove my worth. Soosalu warns in Avoiding the Enemies to Happiness that perfectionism and comparison are two of the biggest barriers to joy (Soosalu, 2014). If a big party feels overwhelming, I choose a cosy movie night instead. My peace is the most precious present under the tree.
Connection, for me, isn’t about dazzling with tinsel and glitter. It’s about stringing lights of genuine warmth—a heartfelt message, a shared laugh, a steaming mug of coffee. These are the garlands that truly decorate life. And when things go wrong—burnt cookies, forgotten gifts—I let them fall away like pine needles to the floor. I forgive myself and sip joy like mulled wine. Sometimes that means pampering with small pleasures: a warm bath, a favourite book, or a festive treat that tastes like comfort.
I try to flow with the season, like snowflakes dancing with the wind instead of fighting it. That means letting go of control, breathing deeply, journaling by candlelight, or taking a mindful walk under winter skies. Research shows mindfulness practices during stressful periods significantly reduce anxiety and improve emotional resilience (Mental Health Foundation, 2023). For me, this is also prayer—a quiet conversation with God, trusting that the season will unfold beautifully, even if imperfectly.
Finally, I deck the halls of my heart as much as my home. Soft lighting, seasonal scents, clutter-free corners—these cosy touches create a space that feels like a hearth, warming my soul and inviting joy to linger. This Christmas, I want to author my own story like painting a snowy landscape—each brushstroke filled with curiosity, self-belief, and joy. By embracing these practices, I believe we can create a season that glows brighter than any star atop the tree.
Three Top Tips for a Calmer Holiday Season
- Set Realistic Expectations – Let go of the idea of a picture-perfect holiday. Things may not go as planned, and that’s okay. Sometimes the unexpected moments create the best memories.
- Prioritise Self-Care – Schedule time for yourself, whether it’s a quiet walk, journaling, or simply saying “no” to an extra event. Protect your energy like the most precious gift.
- Practice Gratitude Daily – Start a gratitude jar or jot down one thing you’re thankful for each day. Gratitude has been shown to reduce stress and improve well-being (Mutz, 2016). And as 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us: “Give thanks in all circumstances.”
A Thought to Carry With You
“Self-care is not a luxury; it is a fundamental component of resilience and mental health, particularly during periods of heightened stress such as the holiday season.”
— Grill, E. A. (2024)
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References
Age UK. (2024, December 4). Age UK launches Christmas campaign with new research. Retrieved from https://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-press/articles/2024/loneliness-research-christmas-campaign/
Grill, E. A. (2024, December 1). A guide to manage the holidays with self-care and balance. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-the-womb/202412/a-guide-to-manage-the-holidays-with-self-care-and-balance
Healtheuropa. (2022, January 19). Levels of depression and anxiety increased over Christmas in the UK. Retrieved from https://www.healtheuropa.com/levels-of-depression-and-anxiety-increased-over-christmas-in-the-uk/
Mental Health Foundation. (2023). Looking after your mental health during the holidays. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/looking-after-your-mental-health-during-holidays
Mind Body Clinic. (2023, November 4). Mental health during Christmas. Retrieved from https://themindbodyclinic.co.uk/mental-health-during-christmas/
Mutz, M. (2016). Christmas and subjective well-being: A research note. Applied Research in Quality of Life, 11(4), 1341–1356. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11482-015-9441-8
Schneider, E., Liwinski, T., Imfeld, L., Lang, U. E., & Brühl, A. B. (2023). Who is afraid of Christmas? The effect of Christmas and Easter holidays on psychiatric hospitalizations and emergencies—Systematic review and single center experience from 2012 to 2021. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, Article 1049935. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.1049935
Soosalu, G. (2014). Avoiding the enemies to happiness. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
Soosalu, G. (2015). Loving your life!: Explorations on loving your self and your life more wondrously using the power of mBIT, Positive Psychology & NLP. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
UCL News. (2022, January 19). Depression and anxiety rose sharply over Christmas in the UK. Retrieved from https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2022/jan/depression-and-anxiety-rose-sharply-over-christmas-uk
YouGov. (2022). Christmas spending tracker. Retrieved from https://yougov.co.uk
