How to set realistic goals and stick to them even when it’s tough!
Another exam season is upon us and teenagers across the country are studying in preparation. Elsewhere, many hundreds, if not thousands of people are gearing up for their part in what will be the first Coronation of a British monarch for seven decades on 6 May. What do these two very different scenarios have in common? They both involve a series of planning goals to be met along the way in order to achieve an ultimately successful main event.
For teenagers, revision is far more effective if it can be broken down into manageable time periods, topic areas, and study techniques. Just being told to “revise” is unhelpful without knowing how to set smaller goals set to measure your progress along the way.
Likewise, no one can plan and carry out the Coronation of King Charles III without an agreed plan of action with stated goals to ensure all goes to plan. For instance, what will happen during the crowning ceremony, in which direction the procession will move in; what the music will sound like on the day? Which fillings will go into the sandwiches for the right royal knees-up that is bound to take place when Charles and Camilla get back to Buckingham Palace from the Abbey?
In NLP, goal setting is intrinsically linked to the principles of success and knowing what you want to achieve. Setting goals is a familiar practice for many of us in our business lives, but it is also a useful habit to get into in our private lives as well.
Setting goals and targets links to the brain’s reticular activation system, or ‘internal radar’ that helps us identify and search for relevant information among the millions of things we retain, and apply it to the situation at hand[1]. It also provides clarity around what you and anyone else involved in the project want to achieve and stops you from wasting time and energy pursuing the wrong aims.
Be SMART (ER)
When considering how to set goals, there are all kinds of models and approaches available online. In NLP, there are a number of complementary models that can help. These include creating a checklist of conditions that need to be met in order for the goal to be properly formed. In other words, working towards setting goals that are ‘SMART’
Yes, you guessed it – SMART is an acronym that helps us remember what we need to think about when working on defining a goal. It is a tool that is widely used, both within and outside the NLP framework. The concept has been accredited to both Peter Drucker in 1955 and G.T Doran in 1991[2] and is often used in employee performance appraisals to help them set goals for the year ahead. So, what do goals needs to include to be considered ‘SMART’[3]?
- SPECIFIC: Adding specific details to a goal makes it easier to state exactly what you want. It breaks the goal down and stops you from feeling like it is too much to handle. For example, saying that you want to lose 30lbs is far easier to envisage and become inspired by than “I want to lose weight.”
- MEASURABLE: This is a standard part of goal setting, as it adds accountability and helps you keep track of what progress you are making. Just like the examples given at the start of this blog around studying for exams or planning a huge national event, being able to measure progress as you go along and tick off milestones as you pass them will keep things more manageable – and you more motivated.
- ACHIEVABLE: This is all about believing in your goal. If you don’t trust that you can achieve it, is there any point in setting it? Ask yourself if you have ever known anyone else achieve the goal, or whether you have done anything similar yourself before. If the answer to either question is “yes,” then the goal is likely to be achievable, even if it is also tough.
- REALISTIC: This is linked to ‘Achievable’, but adds a touch of reality to your planning. If you decide that you want to be a millionaire within the first fortnight of starting a new business, this is most probably unrealistic. In theory, it could be achievable in a very specific set of circumstances, but for you, where you are right now, it is actually realistic?
- TIMELY: The best goals have deadlines and dates attached to them. This stops them from carrying on and on with no real direction or end in sight. Deadlines keep us organised and motivated, especially when a larger task can be broken down into sections with shorter-term deadlines attached to each section. Give specific dates, rather than more vague timings such as ‘three months’ time’ or ‘in the summer’.
Two additional letters can also be added when considering SMART goal setting and NLP[4]:
- ECOLOGY: In NLP, this relates to the consequences of your actions on the other areas of your life (e.g. health, money, friends), on other people, and society in general. Adding this point helps you look at your goal from a wider perspective and the further-reaching consequences it may have.
- RESOURCES: Finally, think about the resources you will need to achieve your goal and what you already have. This includes tangible things, such as staff, money, and equipment. It also encompasses personal attributes like confidence, focus, commitment, experience, and skills.
Overcoming Procrastination
Procrastination is the enemy of productivity. The best-laid plans and ‘SMART’-est goals will only succeed if you can avoid putting off what needs to be done for no real reason. If we know what we want but fail to take action to follow through on achieving it, we can become demotivated pretty quickly. The trouble is, overcoming procrastination is not always that easy to do.
The trick to making a start, however, is – making a start! Procrastination is like any other of our personal attributes and skills: an unconscious competency[5]. Therefore, we can control it. Often, we procrastinate because the goal seems too big and overwhelming to tackle. The answer to this lies in ‘chunking’ – an NLP technique that breaks a larger concept or task down into smaller chunks or pieces that seem far more manageable. This could be incorporated into the SMART(ER) goal-setting process, so that each chunk is allocated its own goal or target.
Next, remove as many distractions as possible to clear your mind and focus on the task at hand. The same part of our brain that controls our ‘inner radar’ – the reticular activation system – is also excellent at searching for things to interrupt us from our goal. Once we know what our brain is doing, we can take control and proactively work to stay focused and on-task.
It’s the same for obstacles that we encounter along the way. So long as we recognise that we are in control of our mind and our attitude to interruptions and obstacles, we won’t become distracted or discouraged by them. If we can work on developing a positive growth mindset, which I wrote about in my previous blog, we can start to see obstacles as opportunities to overcome challenges, rather than blocks that bring us inexorably to a shuddering halt.
Finally, we all react to rewards and praise, so train yourself to eschew procrastination by allowing yourself a small treat every time you reach a stage of your goal or push past a tough obstacle or negative mindset. You might go for a short walk, make a cup of tea or spend a few minutes catching up with friends online. It needn’t be a large, lengthy, or expensive reward! Soon, you will associate completing a goal with a pleasurable response and procrastination will not seem quite so attractive.
For more information about NLP and how it can help you with your goal-setting this summer, get in touch with me today
[1] Source: NLP for Business Success, Jeremy Lazarus, published 2013, p39
[2] Source: https://www.managers.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/CHK-231-Setting_Smart_Objectives.pdf. Accessed 18 April 2023.
[3] Source: https://coachingfederation.org/blog/smart-wise-goal-setting-using-neuro-linguistics-programming-nlp. Accessed 18 April 2023
[4] Source: NLP for Business Success, Jeremy Lazarus, published 2013, p348-51
[5] Avoiding the Enemies to Happiness, Grant Soosalu , published 2014, p1374-9
